If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
do nipples grow back?
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