I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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