Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
