sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
