Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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