That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
