Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
