i think my mom watched the whole time
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
