spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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