Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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