Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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