Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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