After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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