she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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