Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
