chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
