Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
