We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
