just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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