Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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