is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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