I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
