btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Houston, we have a blender
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
