I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
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I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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