Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
