I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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