I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
