am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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