I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize