i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
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Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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