drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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