Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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