I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
