More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Randomize
