3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
