How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
did you just send me my own nude
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
