She's JV to your varsity
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
