Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
