I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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