The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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