my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
