either way he was missing a nipple.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
