we're blogging at a bar
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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