So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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