And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
