she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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