I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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