Kareoke will never be a sober sport
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
