Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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