why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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