No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
