I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
