Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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