My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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