you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
