There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I am never drinking with the goths again.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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