Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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