Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
