drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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