does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
