Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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