Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
