I just threw up on my dentist
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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