i need an iv and a liver transplant
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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