Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
