I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
